In the course of working as a CDFA I have had many clients who delayed getting divorced out of fear. I myself held on to my marriage way longer than I should have. I also agreed to things I never should have. Why? Fear. The biggest fear, I believe, is not knowing what life on the other side of the divorce will look like: will I be able to support myself, will my children be okay, will I be able to keep the house, will I ever find someone to be with romantically, will I be able to retire…. The list of “will I’s” goes on and on. A wonderful therapist once described this to me as “the line in the sand”. Your life now is on one side of the line. You know just what it looks like from a financial and relationship standpoint. Even if it is not great, you know how to manage, how to cope and what to expect. Your life after divorce is the other side of that line. Once you step over there’s likely no turning back. This is scary to contemplate and even more frightening when you are not the one who wants the divorce. This is where a CDFA can help. While I can’t help with the relationship/romantic part, I can help with the financial piece. I can show you what your assets could look like after a divorce, whether you can afford to keep the house and what your cash flow will look like if you are paying or receiving child support or alimony. If you have been struggling with the idea of getting divorced my new year’s wish for you is to step over your own line in the sand. It’s time to see what life on the other side looks like. Wishing you a happy and a healthy 2021.
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